Burden Yourself: Your Life is Made for Limits
It was while I was drinking another cup of coffee in a socially distanced Panera that I was confronted again with one of the biggest lies on the college campus. Sitting across from a freshman, he sees my wedding ring, and hesitantly starts to go through the line of questioning that I have grown accustomed to: “How long have you been married? Do you have kids? How old are you? And then the final question, “What made you decide to start a family so young?” I appreciate his boldness and curiosity about my life, but could do without the judgment of an 18 year old on my life decisions.
I am 29 years old, have been married for 6 years, and have 2 young ones. I get asked a lot about my family from college students, mostly with genuine intrigue and interest. But ever so often, I get the question that’s underneath all the others, “do you ever feel like you missed out on your 20’s?” To which I have since developed the reply, “Miss out on what?”
I am not proposing that everyone should be married or have kids right out of college, but I am seeing a growing number of people that are giving into the cultural lie of freedom. At some level, we have all bought into this narrative that “you are your own and should be free to do as you please.” In the craziness of 2020, where we seem to be as divided as ever, you can be sure that underneath it all is a greater war over freedom. Plenty of sociologists have described this tension with two different definitions of freedom: positive and negative. The positive view of freedom is a “freedom for” people, responsibilities, and a meaningful life. The negative view of freedom is a freedom “from” any restraints, commitments, or other situations that might restrict or impose on your life. Freedom today is being able to do whatever we want and this is affecting you more than you think.
Perhaps what ails us most is not burdens, but the lack thereof. In believing that true freedom is found in no limits or burdens on your life, you might actually be heaping greater burdens on yourself. Just maybe, we are so lonely, because we have exchanged the burdens of friendship for greater freedom in your schedule. Just maybe, we are so divided, because we have exchanged the burden of listening in real conversation with the freedom of talking on social media. Just maybe we are so apathetic, because we have exchanged the burden of self-denial with the freedom of self-care. Just maybe we are so unhappy, because we have believed that happiness is found in no burdens, instead of the right burdens.
Your Freedom will not be found in a lack of limits or restraints on our lives, but through submitting to the right ones. And this is what makes Jesus Christ so compelling. He is the only Lord, that when we obey and submit to Him, does not exploit us, but actually makes us free. The most important verse in the Bible for your life and our cultural moment right now might be Matthew 11:28-30 - 28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
This is the gospel of Jesus Christ who leads us to freedom not by keeping himself from burdens, but literally taking on our burdens. Jesus Christ promises that His burden is different, it is light. This is not only our salvation, but is also our path to the good life. Paradoxically, greater denial of self for the sake of Christ, will lead to greater freedom.
So here’s my advice for your college years (or post-college years): burden yourself. The way to freedom and fulfillment might be in the burdens you are trying so hard to avoid. By committing yourself to a group of people that infringe on your life, you might find the friendships that you are looking for in your loneliness. By taking on the stresses of meaningful work, you might find the responsibility that you so need for your insecurities. By taking on the “yoke” of Jesus, you might finally find “rest for your soul” (Matthew 11:29).
You will be burdened by something in this life. Your job is to make sure you pick the right ones. There is no greater “burden” than the yoke of Christ, who gladly takes our burdens.
“Jesus did not cultivate self, even His divine self. He took no account of self. He was not led into the recesses of his own soul to brood morbidly over His own needs. He was led by His love for others into the world, to forget Himself in the needs of others, to sacrifice self once for all upon the altar of sympathy. Self-sacrifice brought Christ into the world. And self-sacrifice will lead us His followers, not away from, but into the midst of mankind. Wherever men suffer, there will we be to comfort. Wherever men strive, there will we be to help. Wherever men fail, there will we be to uplift. Wherever men succeed, there will we be to rejoice. Self-sacrifice means not indifference to our times and our fellows: it means absorption into them. It means forgetfulness of self in others. It means entering into every man’s hopes and fears, longings and despairs. It means not that we should live one life, but a thousand lives – binding ourselves to a thousand souls by the filaments of so loving a sympathy that their lives become ours.”
B.B. Warfield